


love, hate, and soulmates

by sincerelyjeno



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Massage, Soul Bond, Ten and Kun are both mentioned, Yang Yang is insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29763261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerelyjeno/pseuds/sincerelyjeno
Summary: yangyang hates that mark lee is his soulmate and that he is stuck with him forever... or does he?
Relationships: Mark Lee/Liu Yang Yang
Comments: 8
Kudos: 73





	love, hate, and soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd, i am so sorry

Yangyang wonders how he gets into these situations sometimes. He doesn’t go looking for them. They just seem to find him. At least that’s what he’s thinking as he lays on the forest floor staring up at the night sky. He concludes that maybe he just has the worst luck in the entire world. How else can he explain the fact that he is here stargazing with Mark  _ fucking  _ Lee? The universe just hates him. 

“This is nice.” He hears Mark say after 15 minutes of glorious silence. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Yangyang says through his teeth and he resists the urge to punch the other boy when he has the audacity to laugh at what Yangyang just said. 

“Aw come on Yangie, live a little.”

“Only my friends can call me Yangie and last time I checked we were not friends.” Yangyang spits those words out quickly. Not that Yangyang has any friends. Not really anyways. He’s got that weird conspiracy kid that sits next to him in the library sometimes and his older brother, that’s about how wide the list of his friends extends. He’s the polar opposite to Mark, who is everyone’s favorite person. God, Yangyang hated him. 

“I think we are friends. I mean we’re out here together, aren’t we?” 

Yangyang can hear the smile in Mark’s tone and he takes deep breaths. He really shouldn’t punch the only other person stranded out here with him. Granted, they should be in their tent, but Yangyang is trying to avoid that process for as long as he can. Hence, the stargazing. 

“Do you think I  _ want  _ to be out here with you, Lee?” Yangyang sits up quickly and turns to glare down at the other man who was relaxing with an easy smile on his face. 

“I don’t know, Liu. You didn’t exactly protest when I said that I would come with you.” Mark raises an eyebrow in challenge towards Yangyang. 

“How the fuck could I protest? You told my brother you would keep me company!” Yangyang shouted out while rubbing at his eyes with his palms. He was tired, maybe he should just sleep and deal with Mark in the morning. 

“Why did you want to go camping anyways? And alone? Are you stupid?” He could hear the teasing tone in the other's words and knows that he wants to start a fight. Mark enjoys riling up Yangyang and it is the most annoying thing ever. You would assume that with people throwing themselves at you left and right that you would be busy but no Mark sets aside specific times in the day just to annoy Yangyang. That’s what Yangyang thinks anyways. 

It all started back in freshman year, back when Yangyang ended up being dorm neighbors with the loudest, most rambunctious human to ever walk the planet. You take one look at Mark, and you would assume that he was meek and didn’t say much. You would be wrong. Yangyang knew just how loud he could be and it didn’t help that he spoke both English and Korean, two of the languages that Yangyang just so happened to know. Instead of being able to escape the noise when Mark spoke his second language, Yangyang had to endure that pain as well. When he was finally able to move into a single and leave his freshman roommate behind, he jumped at the chance to get away from sharing a wall with Mark Lee. He was quite shocked when he got to the dorm hall and saw the aforementioned bane of his existence moving into the dorm right next to him  _ once again. _ The universe has to hate him. It’s the only explanation.

“Dude, how are you not cold?” Mark’s whining effectively snapped Yangyang from his thoughts and when he turned to scowl at him, he quickly noticed just how much Mark was shivering.

“You could have gone into the tent, you know?” Yangyang asked while standing up and brushing himself off before putting a hand out for Yangyang to grab. 

“And leave you out here? In the cold? What kind of soulmate do you take me for?” 

Ah, there it was! The main reason that Yangyang was convinced the universe hated him and was just playing the cruelest joke on him in the world. 

Mark Lee was his soulmate. 

The person that he was supposed to spend his forever with was also the person that Yangyang would run over with a car with zero hesitation. Ten found it hilarious. Yangyang wished that sometimes Ten would get a frozen chicken thrown at his head for the fact that he finds Yangyang’s pain amusing. The asshole. 

“C’mon. Let’s go to the tent before you freeze to death.” Yangyang grumbles while leading the way to their home for the evening. 

“Oh Yangyang! You do care!” Mark says it in a tone that he knows irritates Yangyang beyond all belief. 

“No I don’t, but if you freeze to death I will be called a murderer and I’m not going to prison over your sorry ass.” Yangyang says while unzipping the tent and slipping his shoes off to step inside. He hears Mark chuckle behind him, but ignores it as he walks over his sleeping bag and throws himself across it. This whole day had been exhausting and Yangyang was so happy that he had shortened his weekend camping trip to just an overnight one. He did not want to spend that much time with Mark Lee alone. 

He hears Mark drop on top of his sleeping bag right next to him and he turns his head to make sure he was just staring at the tent wall. He would have been content with ignoring Mark the whole night, had he not started to groan in pain. Yangyang shot up and looked over to see Mark rolling his head around, trying to stretch his neck. 

“What did you do?” He asks before he can stop himself and he watches as Mark quickly looks up and makes eye contact. 

“Nothing.” Yangyang squints at the quick response. 

“Mark, what did you do?” Yangyang is leaning in now and quickly glancing over his whole body to check for any other injury. 

“I think I slept wrong. Nothing big.” Mark said with a wide smile and a shrug. If Yangyang hadn’t been staring down his soulmate like a hawk he would’ve missed the small wince that Mark made at the foreign movement. 

“Mark Lee.” 

“God, I love it when you call me by my full name.”

“One, I will murder you. Two, what really happened?” Yangyang knew better and he always hated when Mark tried to avoid answering the question. Yangyang hated that they were soulmates too but at least he wasn’t an idiot that tried to lie to his soulmate and hide his pain. 

“I think I just pulled something. Not a big deal.” Mark was mumbling while going through his duffle bag now and Yangyang couldn’t help but want to strangle him right now. 

The awful thing about soulmates is that you notice everything about the other people, even if you don’t want to. That’s the only reason that Yangyang knows about Mark Lee’s semi-self destructive habits. He knows that Mark will skip a meal if a deadline is approaching. He knows that Mark will forget to drink water for days if he isn’t reminded. He knows that during certain times of the year, Mark Lee’s sleep schedule becomes practically non-existent. He knows all of this and it pisses him off. He hates that he can’t help but care, because no matter how much he hates the other man, he is his soulmate and he  _ wants _ to take care of him. 

“Mark Lee, that is a huge deal! Why can’t you just take care of yourself normally?” Yangyang sighs while reaching towards his duffle and grabbing the lotion that he had thrown in there, not expecting that he was going to need it. He hated the universe sometimes. 

“I take care of myself just fine!” Mark shouted while throwing his arms up in protest. 

“Yeah sure. That’s why I had to start sending you a text reminder to drink water every couple of hours.” Yangyang says with a head tilt, grinning triumphantly when Mark immediately looks away flustered. 

“You didn’t have to start doing that.” Mark was embarrassed and Yangyang couldn’t help the rush of power that he felt. Usually he was the one getting embarrassed by Mark, so the fact that he had managed to fluster the other boy made him feel good.

“Yes I did.” Yangyang rolled his eyes while giving Mark a glare.

“You really didn’t.”

“Mark Lee, shut up and lay down.” Yangyang said while shuffling over to where the other boy was sitting.

“What why?” Mark leaned back and looked at Yangyang with confusion and fear.

“I’m going to massage your neck and back.” Yangyang hates that he has to do this. He hates that he feels the need to constantly take care of this stupid boy. It’s the worst part about being soulmates in his eyes.

“W-what?” Mark’s eyes widened as he stumbles over his words and Yangyang hates that he finds it adorable. 

“You heard me. Now lay down and shut up. Also take your shirt off,” Yangyang tilted his head to the side and just stared as Mark turned an even brighter shade of red. He couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he had been the cause for all of the redness that was covering the other man’s face.

Mark finally gave up on protesting and took his shirt off. Yangyang allowed his gaze to drop just for a second to admire the chest of the man that enjoyed dancing in his freetime. He may hate the man, but he wasn’t going to deny that Mark Lee was attractive and had a good body. He continues to watch as Mark sighs and goes to lay on his stomach, letting his arms rest at his side. He smiles to himself as he moves over and swings his leg over so he’s straddling the man’s lower back.

“Do you even know how to give massages?” He hears Mark mumble from down below and he can’t help but reach his hand up and tweak Mark’s ear.

“I do. Ten gets sore muscles all the time so Kun taught me how to massage them so they don’t hurt as much. I only ever get to do them if Kun’s not available though.” Yangyang says while putting lotion on his hands and bringing his hands up to Mark’s neck. He allows his hands to still for just a moment before beginning to apply pressure to his neck. He’s shocked when Mark makes a noise almost instantly.

“Fuck, that hurts.”

“Well you messed up your neck so no shit it hurts.” Yangyang was pressing his hands in harder to the neck of the man laying down. 

Was he enjoying torturing Mark? Maybe just a little. Yangyang never claimed to be a good person. 

The two continue in attempted silence. Yangyang is silent. Mark is making small noises every time Yangyang presses too hard in a tender spot. Yangyang would comment on those noises but he really doesn’t want to be reminded of the insanity of the situation. Mark is shirtless and Yangyang is  _ willingly  _ giving him a massage. Is this what Ten meant when he said that soulmates have a weird effect on a person? What he meant when he said that you do things for the other person that you never would have  _ dreamed _ of?

“Yang, it feels better now. You can stop.” Mark’s muffled voice brings him back to reality and he instantly lifts his hands from Mark’s bare back. 

“Are you sure?”

“Very.”

Yangyang can feel the reality of the situation set-in and he can’t help the embarrassment that floods his senses. Here he was, sitting on Mark’s lower back as he lays shirtless on his sleeping bag in their tent. The tent that they have to share because they are alone in the woods for the night. 

How the fuck does he keep ending up in these situations again?

Still red, Yangyang quickly gets off of Mark and goes to his own sleeping bag. He can feel Mark’s eyes on him, but he can’t bring himself to look back. He can feel the tension rise in the small tent and he closes his eyes.

He shouldn’t have done that. He should  _ not _ have done that.

“Yangyang.”

He gulps before turning his head slightly to look over his shoulder. Mark is still laying in his stomach on the sleeping bag, except he had moved his arms so his head was resting on them. He saw the way Mark's eyes roamed over his figure and he knows that Mark can see his defensive body language.

“Yangyang.”

Mark’s voice is firm when he says it. He is calling for attention and Yangyang can’t ignore it. Yangyang can’t ignore much when it comes to Mark.

“What?”

“Why do you hate me?” Mark whispers it into the tense atmosphere, almost as if he didn’t care of the effect that his words would have on the surrounding air. Mark was like that. Carefree.

“I don’t hate you.” Yangyang whispers back as he rips his gaze away from his soulmate.

“Are you sure about that? I have never heard of a soulmate that can’t look theirs in the eyes.” Mark’s words cut deep even if that wasn’t the true intention.

Mark wasn’t supposed to be his soulmate. Mark was supposed to remain the annoying boy next door that he wanted to strangle. Mark was supposed to remain a speck in the overall life of Yangyang, but instead he has become his whole life and that bit of knowledge scared Yangyang more than the rest of all his fears combined.

“Mark, let’s just go to sleep.”

Yangyang is a coward and he knows it. He knows that Mark knows it too, if the way he scoffs means anything. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to remain impassive while his soul cries on the inside.

_ You hurt him,  _ it screams at him and Yangyang shakes it off. He has gotten used to disappointing his soul.

_ You’re hurting the one person that is supposed to love you despite it all!  _ At those words, Yangyang does a full body wince that has him almost collapsing onto his mat.

Love.  _ Love.  _

Mark loving him isn’t a concept that is new, but the very thought of it makes him want to combust. Mark shouldn’t love him. Yangyang doesn’t deserve to have a soulmate.

“Yangyang, stop.” Mark’s voice draws him back out of his head. He looks up wide-eyed and is met with an equally as shocked Mark.

“Huh?”

“Is that truly what you think?” Mark sounded sad. He sounded almost hurt.

“What do you mean?” Yangyang asks with a head tilt.

“Do you truly believe that you don’t deserve a soulmate?” Mark’s words startled Yangyang. He froze at hearing his thoughts come out of Mark’s mouth.

“How did you—,”

“I heard them. Your thoughts were in my head.” Mark cut him off but Yangyang couldn’t even be upset because of it. 

Mark had  _ heard _ his thoughts. 

Yangyang had heard of that in stories. He had heard that in times of desperation soulmates can cry out for their other half with no words and be heard, but he had never expected it to happen to him. He had never expected it to be  _ real.  _ There was a reason he only heard about it in stories. 

“Yangyang, do you really believe that you don’t deserve a soulmate?” Mark’s voice was firm, but soft. He sounded sad. 

“I don’t want to talk about this, Mark. Let’s just sleep.” Yangyang was dismissing him. He really didn’t want to have this conversation.

“Please talk to me. You clearly wanted me to know if your soul was crying out loud enough for me to hear it.”

“You think I did that on purpose?” Yangyang snapped while glaring over at Mark.

“I wish that you would just talk to me,” Mark groans, “We have been at each other’s throats for years and I thought that after we found out we were soulmates that it would stop. It didn’t. You kept fighting. You keep fighting and pushing me away.”

Yangyang can feel the shock on his face, he knows that he hadn’t been fair to Mark. He didn’t realize it was affecting him this badly though. Mark was  _ hurt.  _

“Talk to me please.” Mark whispered his final plea. Yangyang could hear the desperation in his voice and he felt himself tense up. Mark’s soul was crying as well and he could hear it. Mark’s soul was crying out for his. It was screaming. 

“I don’t know what to say.” Yangyang is ashamed after all that time and all of those fights that he has no words. He has nothing to add. He has nothing to defend himself with. 

“Tell me why you hate me. Tell me your issues with soulmates. Tell me why I can’t love you. Tell me why I can hear you say one thing but your soul screams another. Tell me why you deny yourself good things time and time again. Just tell me  _ why,  _ Yangyang.” Mark’s looking at him with a fire in his eyes that has Yangyang almost melting. 

“Wait... love?”

“That’s all you picked up on?” Mark scoffs while rubbing his face. 

“You don’t love me.” Yangyang insists while shaking his head. 

“You don’t get to decide that.” Mark snaps back with a glare that Yangyang almost hides from. Almost. 

“You don’t love me. The soul mark just made you think that you love me.  _ You don’t love me.” _ Yangyang waves his hands around. This is not the conversation that he thought they would be having today, but it was bound to happen at some point.

“You  _ don’t  _ get to decide that.” Mark looks mad and Yangyang hates that he instantly wants to stop fighting and fix it. 

“But it’s true.”

“No it’s not!”

“How do you know?”

“Because I have had feelings for you since we were freshmen. I fell in love with you when we were freshmen and I cried in relief when I found out you were my soulmate. I thought I was  _ broken; _ falling for someone who wasn’t my soulmate. I thought I would be rejected by the world just to turn around and get rejected by the one person that is supposed to accept me for who I am.” Mark’s speech stuns Yangyang and all he can do is look at Mark with his mouth opened in shock. 

“Freshman year?” Yangyang whispers and he thinks back to all the times that Mark would smile at him. All the times that Mark would laugh at his jokes. All the times that Mark would shyly invite him to parties. All the times that Mark was just there  _ looking _ at him. Mark loved him?

“Yeah. Freshman year? Kind of stupid huh?” Mark bitterly chuckles sitting up to put his pajamas on. 

All Yangyang can do is watch as Mark moves slowly. He watches as Mark pulls on a new shirt and adjusts his sweats. He watches as Mark pulls out his phone to check something and send a quick text. He watches as Mark pulls back his sleeping bag and crawls inside. He just  _ watches _ , unable to say anything.

“Can you turn off the lamp?” Mark asks softly and Yangyang nods his head quickly before complying. 

Darkness settles over the whole tent and Yangyang can’t help but want to cry. Mark had been in love with him for literal  _ years _ and Yangyang never knew. Mark rejoiced when he found out they were soulmates and he mourned it. Mark has waited for him and Yangyang has been avoiding him. Yangyang can feel the telltale sign of tears burning up the back of his throat and he wills it away. 

He can’t do this now. He can’t cry. Why would he cry? He doesn’t get to cry. 

“Please sleep, your soul is very loud.” Mark’s gentle voice washes over him and he instantly feels his limbs all relax and he can’t help the sigh of relief that leaves him. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll be quieter.” Yangyang can head shuffling on the other side of the tent before it stops and he closes his eyes. He should sleep. He has to sleep. He has to help Mark. 

The two lay in silence in the dark once again and Yangyang wants to run away. He wants to disappear. He had completely fucked up with his soulmate and he wants to cry. 

“Goddamnit.” He hears Mark say before he shuffles back out of his sleeping bag. He freezes, hoping that he wasn’t the reason that Mark needed to get up. 

He stays frozen until he feels a hand touch his side and grab the lantern flipping it on. The once dark tent was now filled with bright, artificial light. Yangyang blinks to adjust his eyes to the sudden change when all of a sudden he sees Mark throwing his leg over his waist. He looks up in shock to see Mark straddling him and staring down at him. 

Mark leans down and rests his forearms on either side of Yangyang’s head and all Yangyang can do is stare with wide eyes. 

“I’m going to say this just once more, Yangyang Liu. I’m in love with you. Stop convincing your heart that you don't deserve me or anyone else as your soulmate. I want you in anyway that you will have me. I have been in love with you for years and I’m tired of pretending. Please stop being mean to yourself.” Mark says it while staring in his eyes and Yangyang can’t help but notice that for the first time since he was 12 all of the thoughts have just… stopped. Every single negative thing that he has managed to convince himself of is just  _ gone.  _ His brain is still. 

He sees Mark. He  _ really  _ sees Mark and wants to gasp. Mark is his soulmate and is laying on top of him. Mark is within kissing distance.  _ Mark is his. _

“Are you lying to me, Mark Lee?” Yangyang can’t help but ask one last time. 

“Never. I would never lie to you.” Mark whispers it while looking at him with such a warm gaze that Yangyang can feel his heart singing.

“Prove it.” The words leave his mouth before he can even process them. Maybe he had meant to shyly ask for confirmation or maybe he was going to give some grand confession but it didn’t happen. Yangyang needed proof apparently.

Mark was letting his eyes glance all over Yangyang’s face. Yangyang could feel the intensity of the gaze, but he couldn’t look away. Mark had silenced his negative thoughts. 

“Can I kiss you?” Mark said with a tone so full of love that Yangyang instantly feels warm when he hears the words.

“Please.”

Mark's lips landing on his just solidified everything that he already knew. Mark was his soulmate and he was an idiot for pushing it away for so long.

“Does that prove it?” Mark whispers against his lips and Yangyang can’t help but lift his arms to wrap them around the other’s waist. He pulls him down so that Mark is resting fully on top of him and he can’t help but smile against Mark’s lips.

“I think I need a little more proof.” He doesn’t let Mark lean away from him and he surges his lips the rest of the way up so that they are kissing once again.

The two lay there kissing and Yangyang can’t help but understand what Mark meant when he said that the love was all consuming. He loved Mark Lee and he was more than grateful that Mark Lee just also happened to be his soulmate.

“Yangyang, do you believe me?” Mark was looking down at him with such an intense look and Yangyang wanted to shy away but he couldn’t. He had to face this head on.

“I do. Please kiss me again.” Yangyang wasn’t ashamed to ask for more kisses and from the way that Mark was looking at him, he could tell that he was doing something right.

He would say I love you eventually, right now they had a couple years of kissing that they have to catch up on.

  


**Author's Note:**

> twt: sincerelyjeno


End file.
